Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons
by Mary Allen
Summary: Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons! Team 7... Versus... Team Natsu! Begin! The ultimate smackdown between characters from two different universes!
1. Naruto vs Natsu

**Disclaimer: Naruto and Fairy Tail are property of Kishimoto Masashi and Mashima Hiro. This is done without the author´s permission and without intent to make profit out of this.**

 **Notes: Rated T for language. Since this is an Epic Rap Battle, expect some character bashing.** **The link below (remove space) is what inspired me to do this, this battle follows the outline set by that battle, I just switched characters. Always one character from Team 7 and one from Team Natsu smack each other down.** **Note that these are Shippuden versions of Naruto characters, because how lame would be if adult mages curbstomped 12 year old kids.** **E** **njoy!**

yo .u /watch?v=c9WmmUfYAxw

 _EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!_ __

 _UZUMAKI NARUTO..._ __

 _VERSUS..._ __

 _NATSU DRAGNEEL!_ __

 _BEGIN!_ __

 _Naruto_

I'm Uzumaki Naruto,  
I'm sure you've heard of me.  
My rapping is the best around,  
Better than Killer Bee.

I climbed all the way up  
From a ninja wannabe  
To being the strongest around  
Now everyone respects me.

I'm gonna be the Hokage,  
Acknowledged by all,  
Kneel before me or run away,  
It is only your call.

I'll totally rule your ass,  
It will be child's play.  
I never go back on my word,  
That's my ninja way!

 _Natsu_

Happy! Lets show this fool,  
How we roll in Fairy Tail! (Aye sir!)  
Not being able to save your friends,  
That's what we call an epic fail.

You should not let your rival  
Beat you to the ground  
You should kiss the girl you love  
Not the other way around

You take all your power  
From the Demon Fox,  
Can't rely on your own strength,  
I'm the one who rocks!

All years in the Academy,  
You were dead last of the class.  
It was just by some dumb luck,  
That you actually passed.

 _Naruto_

Don't underestimate me,  
You think that I'm a zero?  
Well then you should maybe know  
That I'm my village's hero.

Fairy Tail?  
What gay name is that?  
But I see you fit there,  
A pink haired man with cat.

Now cower in fear  
Before my strongest justu  
Fuuton: Rasenshuriken.  
This ain't the league you're used to.

Kage Bunshin no Jutsu,  
You should rather quit.  
There are thousands of me now.  
I'll kick your ass, believe it!

 _Natsu_

Hahaha, now I'm fired up.  
I just can't be beaten.  
You can't win against Dragon Slayer,  
You'll more likely get eaten.

You can clone yourself?  
I can't believe my luck!  
Looks like with this skill of yours,  
I can get a cluster fuck.

Don't joke about Fairy Tail,  
That never went well.  
All villains who felt our wrath  
Live no more to tell.

You care for your friends?  
Roll back your childish sass.  
You weren't there for Sasuke-chan  
When Oro fucked his ass.

 _WHO WON?_ __

 _WHO'S NEXT?_ __

 _YOU DECIDE!_

 **Notes: The next battles will be:**

 **Gray vs Sasuke**

 **Sakura vs Lucy**

 **Erza vs Kakashi**

 **I have a dream that some youtuber will adopt this. But mah. I´ll keep dreaming. Might do more in the future. Reviews and constructive criticism appreciated.**


	2. Erza vs Kakashi

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!_

 _ERZA SCARLET..._

 _VERSUS..._

 _HATAKE KAKASHI!_

 _BEGIN!_

 _Erza_

I´m Titania of Fairy Tail,

You don´t mess with my friends.

My title isn´t baseless,

This is where it ends.

I won against hundred demons,

You passed out cause of one.

That´s what you get when you abuse

Your precious stolen Sharingan.

Your daddy killed himself,

Not cause of breaking rules,

But because you were an asshole,

Treating everyone like tools.

Show yourself Copy Ninja,

Come and meet your fate!

Afraid I will kick your ass,

Is that why you´re late?

 _Kakashi_

Sorry I´m late,

Got lost at the road of life...

I haven´t seem Simon there,

Just why isn´t he still alive?

I´m the famous Copy Ninja,

I will be your bane.

Beware of my ultimate technique:

One Thousand Years of Pain.

Look underneath the underneath,

What hides under your clothes?

You don´t leave much for fantasy

With the way you expose.

Before you use your Knight Magic

You really should think twice.

Otherwise you´ll end up in

The Icha Icha Paradise.

 _Erza_

I truly wish to obliterate

All of you dirty pervs.

Blumenblatt between your halves,

That´s what you deserve.

If I had your Sharingan,

I´d rather keep it closed.

Wouldn´t want to copy

The perverseness of yours.

Can´t even protect your friends,

Just bury their ash.

Obito, Rin, Minato,

YOU are worse than trash.

So pull out your nose from your porn,

Come die under my blade.

You should just accept the fact,

You´ll never get laid.

 _Kakashi_

The last time I checked,

Your crush turned you down.

Only for some made-up chick,

Cause he doesn´t want ya around.

You let Natsu fight for you,

He has to always save your ass,

Has to always stand up for you,

The damsel in distress.

I survived three days in Tsukuyomi,

You fucking peed yourself when whipped.

Are you into BDSM,

like to be humiliated?

I have one more thing to tell ya,

Life is no fairy tail,

You still think you can win this fight?

You are wrong on epic scale.

WHO WON?

WHO´S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

 _ **Tentative last battle score:**_

 _ **Naruto: 3**_

 _ **Natsu: 6**_

 _ **Natsu is the winner of the last battle. I admit the last line was killer.**_

 **I will have the statistics at the end of fourth chapter so give me your opinions so I can count them in.**

 **Actually, I like Naruto characters more but in my opinion, there had been far more character development so there are more things to bash.**

 **If you didn´t get some of the more subtler jokes, I have no problem with explaining over PM, especially when one is not too familiar with one of the series. I just don´t want to explain here because that would kill it.**

 **Reviews and constructive criticism appreciated.**

 **Till next chapter (might take a while. Out of ideas).**


	3. Sakura vs Lucy

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!_

 _HARUNO SAKURA..._

 _VERSUS..._

 _LUCY HEARTFILIA!_

 _BEGIN!_

 _Sakura_

Shannaro, bitch!

Better call forth your spirits.

You have to rely on others

To protect your saggy tits.

Before you start acting tough

I should tell you a thing.

I´m not so useless anymore,

Your defeat will sting.

You´re surrounded by idiots,

No wonder they think you´re smart.

You have barely enough intelligence

To hide the fact you´re tart.

Just look around yourself,

Your team is a damnation.

We both know that you exist

Just because of narration.

 _Lucy_

Chill out Cherry Blossom,

You´re not old enough to rage.

Go play ninja with other kids,

Do what fits your age.

I will now list all the reasons

Why you suck and I´m the best.

I need somewhere flat to write,

would you lend me your chest?

Do you even change?

You only have one dress.

Do you iron it on yourself?

I can only guess.

I don´t need my spirits

To mope the floor with witch.

Fleuve d´etoile should be enough

You´ll regret this, bitch.

 _Sakura_

I can use my strength

And stomp you to the ground.

Good looks cannot help you here,

Who´s the flat one now?

Bigger chest, smaller brains,

It´s not outside what counts.

At least I´m not superficial,

as the likes of you cunts.

I cut my hair for the job

And worked up myself to my prime.

You stayed little Missis Fanservice,

Getting naked all the time.

No guy ever wanted you,

Your ´sex appeal´ is of no use.

You can´t even be a good bait,

If your enemies won´t get seduced.

 _Lucy_

Who´s superficial?

I thought you were the fangirl.

Seeing you with Sasuke-kun

Makes me wanna hurl.

You can´t even get over your crush,

he looks like a gay.

You remind me of Juvia

And Sasuke is your Gray.

I better not summon Gemini,

She might see you ´might´.

I don´t want them to be useless

The next time when I fight.

You´re still a little girl,

No matter how you try.

It´s years for you too early

Even to be small fry.

 _WHO WON?_

 _WHO´S NEXT?_

 _YOU DECIDE!_

 **AN: This one was hard and I´m not very proud of how it turned out. These two have so much things in common that if I tried to pick on one, it would be like she was insulting herself too.**

 **On another note, I don´t think Sakura is useless (anymore). She is on team with near-gods, therefore her powers pale in front of those of her teammates. Sakura will surpass Tsunade one day and there is a reason why she is the Hokage. Same goes to Lucy (except the last part).**

 **Result of Erza vs Kakashi:**

 **Erza: 4**

 **Kakashi: 6**

 **Draw: 5**

 **Sasuke vs Gray to go. But does that mean I will be ending? NO! Thanks to ideas of EMoney365 I will continue to pair up other characters he kindly suggested, some of them are pure genius.**

 **Thank you for your continued support, you can still vote for the previous battles if you found this just now, I´m still counting. Reviews, feedback, feedforward and constructive criticism much appreciated.**


	4. Gray vs Sasuke

_EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!_

 _GRAY FULLBUSTER..._

 _VERSUS..._

 _UCHIHA SASUKE!_

 _BEGIN!_

 _Gray_

What do we have here?

I see a bitch with cute pout.

Did you get lost little girl?

They don´t sell any barbies around.

You sucked since the time

The pedo gave you hickey

You never could come really back

After becoming Oro´s lackey.

You took family issues,

To whole another level.

No amount of therapy would help,

I need to slay the devil.

"You´re too weak to kill"

Not like that it matters.

Itachi was right,

No-one said it better.

 _Sasuke_

I was born a prodigy,

You can´t beat my Sharingan.

Tsukuyomi right up your ass,

Your downfall had just begun.

Compared to me,

You´re just a bloodless stripper.

Do not try to pick a fight,

I´be your Grim Reaper.

Burn by Amaterasu,

Your ice wouldn´t help you here.

Charring pitch black flames of Hell,

Go ahead and disapear.

You can still leave Natsu

To fight here in your stead.

It´s just like you always do,

You´d still both be dead.

 _Gray_

I´ll stop you just here,

You look like you need a break.

Instead you should just bow down

Before the power of my Ice-Make.

I can freeze fucking tornadoes,

That Sun God of your is no snag.

Your little fire is no match for my

Ice Demon Slayer Magic swag.

Oh look, your eyes bleed,

Just like your pussy does.

Somebody is stronger than you?

No need making such a fuss.

After I am done with you,

You wish your brother killed you first.

You´ll want to relive the Curse Mark again,

Come, give me your worst.

 _Sasuke_

Wurst?

I knew deep down you were gay

You can go fuck Sugarman

Since you are his bae.

I think it´s no coincidence

That your name rhymes with gay.

You just stripped out of your clothes,

That´s what gave you away.

No wonder all girls freak out,

Is that even a dick?

I bet it wouldn´t even hurt

If someone hit that pussy with a brick.

You can´t measure with me,

Both you and your crew.

You´re the scaredy cat here,

Even Sakura would beat you.

 _WHO WON?_

 _WHO´S NEXT?_

 _YOU DECIDE!_

 **AN: I´m really curious, do you think, if these two should really stand against each other, what would win, Amaterasu or Ice Devil Slayer Magic? The fire that cannot be put out by anyone else but the caster versus the ice that freezes everything, fire included.**

 **Stats for Sakura vs Lucy:**

 **Sakura: 2**

 **Lucy: 3**

 **Draw: 2**

 **The winner is Lucy, but not by much. While I got about the same amount of reviews as usual, not everyone commented their opinion on winner. I still appreciate all the feedback.**

 **Well, the main four battles are done. Does this mean the end? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

 **Constructive criticism appreciated.**


	5. Final Results

**Despite what I said previous chapter, I probably won´t be continuing this. Sorry. No that I dont have pairs, I can´t make up more lines without them sounding cheesy. You probably noticed it kept getting worse as it went. So, this final ´chapter´ will have the final results as I promised since I apparently got the final amount of reviews. Thanks very much to everyone who reviewed, I enjoyed reading them very much and your support motivated me. So, here are the final results and some statistics:**

 **Naruto vs Natsu**

 **Naruto: 5 (36%)**

 **Natsu: 9 (64%)**

 **Draw: 0 (0%)**

 **Winner: Natsu**

 **Erza vs Kakashi**

 **Erza: 4 (23%)**

 **Kakashi: 8 (47%)**

 **Draw: 5 (30%)**

 **Winner: Kakashi**

 **Sakura vs Lucy**

 **Sakura: 2 (25%)**

 **Lucy: 4 (50%)**

 **Draw: 2 (25%)**

 **Winner: Lucy**

 **Gray vs Sasuke**

 **Gray: 5 (38%)**

 **Sasuke: 6 (46%)**

 **Draw: 2 (16%)**

 **Winner: Sasuke**

 **(Notice how always the second one wins, eh?)**

 **As the Guest that commented on how the party that starts off second tends to win because they can backfire the comments and deliver the finishing blow, I had it evenly distributed – two and two characters from Fairy Tail and Naruto always started, just in case you haven´t noticed. (by the way I agree with your opinion on Ice Devil Slayer Magic vs Amaterasu – in my eyes Amaterasu would win because it comes at higher cost. Not speaking about Naruto and Sasuke being much more overpowered than Natsu and Gray).**

 **Now for some statistics:**

 **Total votes**

 **Naruto characters: 21 (40%)**

 **Fairy Tail characters: 22 (43%)**

 **Draws: 9 (17%)**

 **FINAL VERDICT: FAIRY TAIL WON!**

 **(By ONE vote).**

 **Some other statistics:**

 **Those who started: 16**

 **Those who went second: 27**

 **It´s been a pleasure, thanks again for your support, especially for continued support. Peace out.**


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